To Bend and Not Break
by suki1916
Summary: Baley friendship centric. As the lives they built crumble around them, their friendship is the only thing they can cling to. As one adjusts to her new life the other is struggling just to live. Possible Brucas and Naley.
1. Drowning

**A/N: Hey guys; this is my new story. I've been formulating this one in my mind for a while now and I'm uber excited about it. It's a Baley friendship centric. Final ships for those too have yet to be determined but I'm leaning towards Brucas and Naley. But don't hold me to that. I have a tendency to chance my mind. Anyway, this is full of angst and drama and I hope you like it. So enjoy and leave me lots and lots of love. Oh and I already have the next chapter written and it dives more into Haley's side of the story.  
**

Drowning

_34 C_

She's had them since she was fifteen. Seemingly overnight they were there and people noticed. Her _back_ noticed. All her pre-pubescent _bras_ noticed. Coupled with her dimpled smile and radiant personality she was definitely something to be had. All the guys wanted her; and most of them did. All the girls wanted to be her; and all of them failed. They were the only good thing her mother ever gave her other than a bitchy attitude. God, did Brooke Davis love her breasts.

Winking at herself in the mirror, she adjusted her strapless dress so that her ample cleavage was showing just a bit more. Pushing her slightly curled raven hair off her exposed shoulders she misted a small amount of perfume on herself. The dress was red and satin and it felt divine against her creamy skin. The short length and bare back left little to the imagination but that was just what she was aiming for. She craved the attention, basked in its glory and never let guilt over it seep in for a second.

"If you adjust that dress any more babe, your breasts are going to need their own limo." Her beau of four years teased, walking into their bathroom as he strapped on his expensive watch. He came up behind her, slipping his hands around her petite waist, thumbing the fabric of her dress. His fingers made his way up to the top of her garb, dancing along her cleavage. "You know, we really shouldn't have to share a limo with the Martians do we?"

"You'll do good to keep your hands to yourself mister." She scolded, swatting at his hand and walking to her vanity. Taking a seat she began to touch up the makeup surrounding her hazel eyes. "The dress is a one of a kind, especially made for me and I refuse to have you ruin it with your roaming hands."

Giving him a pointed look, he threw his hands up in the air. "Baby, I would do no such thing."

"We're going to be late." She frowned, glancing at the clock. Throwing her makeup in her matching satin clutch, she got up and walked to him, straightening out his tie. Reaching up, she kissed him softly, unable to stop the slight fluttering in her stomach just hearing his sexy Australian accent. "Do you love me Andy?"

She had lost track of how many times she had asked him the very same question. She always felt vulnerable and stupid, but the words always stumbled out of her mouth. It was just something she prayed for that when the next time she asked, it would be different. Every time was the same though; his answer never deviated. It was always a lie and yet she would always smile and nod and kiss him happily, reciprocating the same answer. Only she meant every word.

"We're going to be late."

Now, he couldn't even lie to her.

X-x-X

"Mmm…"

Whatever it was, it smelt almost _celestial_. Like ambrosia for the gods, only she was positive it was coming from her kitchen. Letting her eyes flutter open, she didn't move her head; just allowed her cheek to rest on the expensive Egyptian cotton covering her bed. She smiled softly when her eyes rested on the small bursts of red scattered out in front of her. Before she could help it, her fingers were grazing the velvet texture of one of the petals and bringing it to her nose to smell.

Not even she could deny their gorgeous scent.

Pushing herself up, she wrapped the lone sheet around her naked body and stepped out of the bed. She padded over to the French doors, her eyes grazing over the city skyline before her. Years before, in high school, a rock band could not have forced her up until well after the sun had risen. Now, in her adult life, she relished the early mornings; the sunlight streaming in, the smell of coffee brewing, and the chance for yet another opportunity to live her life.

She smelt him before she he could even touched her. At thirty, he was six years her senior. He was successful and wealthy and handsome and everything she could possibly want from a man. He took care of her and was an excellent provider. They had met in college her sophomore year. The ambitious and bight eyed fashion designer she was then was fascinated by her business professor. The odds and ends of the rest of it was history. They fell in love.

Or at least she did.

Now, a room three doors down from their bedroom on the right was in shambles. Shortly after moving in, he had surprised her with it; a room completely devoted to her. It had lasted a few months before she stopped designing her own clothes and started wearing some one else's. That was two years ago. Luxurious fabrics with bold prints lie strewn across the floor. Drawings half finished lie scattered across her draft table. Her very dream rested abandoned in her heart.

It wasn't something he asked, or demanded, or encouraged. But it wasn't something he questioned, or prodded about, or encouraged not to do. The duty of being his simply fell in the way of the duty of being herself. It wasn't an option but at the same time it was her choice. Her very own diploma was neatly tucked away in a drawer collecting dust; completely useless.

"What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?" he questioned, his hand running the length of her hair.

"The petals were really sweet." She smiled as he kissed her shoulder. "They're pretty."

"I thought you might like them." He winked, grabbing her robe off the bed and placing it around her. "Now, darling, I want you to come into the kitchen. My cooking skills have yet to fail me, and I'm sure I won't disappoint you in my latest concoction."

"Well lead the way sir." She giggled, latching on to extended hand. "Because whatever it is, I'll eat sight unseen because it smells delicious. And I'm totally starving."

"I begged for dessert last night." He flirted, nuzzling her neck as they entered the kitchen. "That dress was to die for."

"I hardly think that your business partners would have appreciated you having me for dessert on the table in front of them." She pointed out, sitting down at the table as he pulled out her chair.

"Well it may not be their bloody bowl of rice but that's only because their wives are dogs." He spit out, and she kinked up an eyebrow in surprise. "What?"

"You're sexy when you speak dirty Australian." She rasped, leaning over to kiss him passionately. "Mmm…how about dessert before breakfast?"

X-x-X

"How's my booger butt?"

"Brooke, stop calling her that."

"Just because she's your daughter doesn't mean anything Haley. She's still my goddaughter and she loves her nickname." Brooke pressed the phone further into the crook of her neck as she rummaged through a boutique rack. "So how is she?"

"Adjusting." Haley sighed, glancing over at her young daughter playing with her toys. "The move was rough and she had to change pre schools. She wasn't exactly thrilled about that."

"And how's her mommy?" Brooke prodded, curious to know how her best friend was _really_ doing. "Sweetie, I know I'm 3000 miles away but just pretend I'm not in LA and that I'm right beside you in Tree Hill handing you a tissue."

"Some days are better than others." Haley admitted, clipping out another coupon from the paper in front of her. "And for your information, I haven't cried in over a week."

"I was thinking I'd come visit you two." Brooke announced, unsure of where it actually come from. She hadn't been thinking about it and she was positive that it was something Andy wouldn't exactly be thrilled about. "I miss you Hales and there's no reason for me not to be with you. The past few months have been horrible. I should've been there."

"Cookie, I'm fine." Haley assured her, wondering all the same if she really was. "This is for the best. It's rough now, but I know it'll get better. Now what about you? How's Andy?"

Brooke paused as she handed the clerk his credit card with her name on it. "Fantastic."

X-x-X

Asshole.

As if she wasn't well aware of the fact that all of his friends had wives, who in fact, did not look like dogs, but he had to practically throw it up in her face. Yes, she knew she was relatively young. Yes, she knew that she didn't exactly fit in. But did he really have to make it a point to make it so obvious that she was just his girlfriend. Trophy perhaps? She wasn't exactly sure but the foolish side of her heart didn't always overpower the sanity of her mind.

It wouldn't last.

She knew it. Down to the very pits of her stomach; she knew. Or maybe it would. Because she was young and she was pretty and she was a nice ornament decorating his arm. As a bonus, she actually was sophisticated and smart and quite worldly. Placing her brush down, her hand swept over the bare finger on her left hand. When did the world she dreamt of become such a distance blur?

Her hair wasn't doing right. The manicure she had gotten today didn't turn out like she had expected. She wiped at her eyes. The color of her eye shadow was all wrong. The dress; it hugged all her curves the wrong way. The heels were killing her feet. They were the wrong color anyway. Blowing out her breath, she pushed herself away from the vanity and began stripping herself of the garments on her. In an instant she was left in nothing more than her birthday suit and stepping in the shower.

He would probably be furious. She didn't give a damn. Pretending to be his ideal trophy wife around his partners was not something she was up to this evening. Allowing the hot water to run over her hair, forcing out the curls her dresser had spent hours perfecting; she wondered when her life became so utterly meaningless. When her days stopped being filled of doing things that fulfilled her and were replaced with doing things so mundane and ordinary.

Reaching for the soap, she lathered up her washcloth and started with her face. All the makeup and goop that helped her look flawless came off in a just a few quick scrubs. Good riddance, she thought as she rinsed it off and began on the rest of her body. Her breasts were next; her hands rubbing around the curvature of them as they rested on her chest. Lifting her arm up, her hand moved to the side and froze. Forcing her fingers to move, the lump in her throat suddenly felt a lot bigger than the lump she was feeling on her breast.

The soap dropped to the floor of the shower and her hand clutched the top of the shower door for support. As much as she told herself to move her hand away from the lump the more it stayed. Tears prickled the back of her eyes as she stared down at the swirling waters around her feet. The world had seemingly stopped for the moment. Her legs went weak, her hand removed itself from her breast and reached out for the other wall to bear her weight.

Vaguely, she felt the water go cold. Her whole body appeared to go numb. After what seemed like a small eternity, she let her petite frame sink to the floor, her hands grasping and the tears flowing. So many thoughts, too many, flew threw her mind so fast that she didn't have time to process any of them. She tried to tell herself not to panic, to think rational but they fell on deaf ears. Before she could stop herself she was on her hands and knees retching into the drain.

This_ wasn't _happening.

X-x-X

July 22nd, 1983

The day she was born. Nothing magical transpired; nobody important died or did anything great. After torturing her mother with eighteen hours of labor, the doctors finally had to go in and get her because Brooke Davis was _not_ ready to make her entrance. She was born three minutes before midnight at Tree Hill Memorial hospital. Three minutes away from being a born under a different star and a different horoscope.

_Cancer._

_The sign Cancer is symbolized by the __Crab. Your__ sign's element is Water. Cancer is ruled by the Moon.__You are emotional, intuitive, sympathetic and moody. You enjoy shopping and visiting with friends. Cancer is sentimental, sensitive, and needs to have a sense of security. Cancer may be interested in politics even if it's only on the local level. You tend to over protect what is yours. Cancer is intensely romantic and has a vivid imagination. Your home and family are very important to you. __You can be cruel, grasping, weak, possessive, domineering, timid, and lazy and tend toward brooding and cynicism._

The irony of it all didn't escape her. God; well she never _really_ believed in him but if she had she was sure that he had one _sick_ sense of humor. Now as she sat in a comfortable leather chair, fiddling with her fingers, and waiting for probably the most important news in her entire life she was waiting for punch line. After so many years of living a life she didn't truly desire, any chance of living at all was about to be snatched away from her grasp.

"Okay." Brooke turned around and her chair as the doctor slipped into the office, shutting the door quietly behind her. Her eyes followed the vivacious red head as she stepped to her desk and took a seat; opening a yellow folder and spreading its contents out in front of her. The young doctor let out a small sigh and clasped her hands in front of her on the desk, looking Brooke directly in the eye. "Brooke."

She didn't even have to say it. "Rach, it's okay." Brooke nodded, chocking back the few tears threatening to fall. Her doctor, Rachel Gatina, an old and dear friend, looked as if she was struggling to do the same. "What do we do now?"

Her voice sounded foreign and strange to her. It was hoarse and far more raspy than usual. But it was taking everything in her not to cry, not to break down, and not completely scream until it all just went away. She was so _young_. She had been healthy her entire life. Her breasts; they were perfect. She was perfect. Only now, a horrible and evasive thing was invading her body trying desperately to rid her of it all.

Rachel had spent so many hours training how to do this. She had spent countless times actually putting it into practice. But seeing someone, not much younger than herself, someone so full of life, and that person actually being someone she truly cared about, left her utterly speechless. She didn't want to be the one to crush her; she didn't want to be this person at all. She just wanted to be the friend to the broken woman in front of her.

Brooke listened earnestly as she was told the various options and plans of treatment. Glancing to her right, her heart simply ached more at the way he was looking than the way she felt at the moment. She was literally dying at that very moment and all Andy could do was look on stoically, nodding his head when appropriate. And even though, when she reached for his hand, he curled his fingers around hers, she felt no warmth from his contact.

"I have to tell you Brooke that our personal relationship can't cloud this too much." Rachel continued, brushing some of her locks out of her face. "I'm going to tell you what I would recommend to anyone in this situation and I think that it would be what's best for you in the long run."

Brooke knew Rachel meant well. The two had met a few years back, fighting over a particular garment they had both eyed in an expensive boutique downtown. They had both ended up with black eyes and half a dress but they had bonded. They had fought more times than she could count, and way more times than they had gotten along but it was a friendship and a bond that both desperately clung to. Now, Brooke needed her more than ever.

As Rachel said her next words, Brooke couldn't help but stare at the man next to her. The man she knew she had just lost for good.

"I think you should have a double mastectomy."


	2. No Joy In Mudville

**A/N: I was really kinda upset about the lack of feedback from the first chapter. So...I'd figured I'd post the second and if people still thought it sucked I would refocus my energy onto my other stories. I think most people would like this if they gave it a chance though. Oh well. Thanks to those select few who did review the first chapter. It meant a lot. Enjoy.**

No Joy In Mudville

Neatly folding the last towel, she tucked it into the basket, letting out an exasperated sigh. The laundry room was stifling hot as she pushed her matted bangs off her forehead. Six loads of laundry and four hours later, the twosome were finally done with laundry for the week. Two of the machines had broken and one of the dryers had eaten all her quarters. Hopping up on the folding table, she let her torso rest against the basket beside her. Directly opposite on the other table, sat two more baskets; one that contained her three year old daughter snuggled up in the warm clothes, fast asleep.

Haley's most treasured possession was her precocious daughter. The bright blue eyed, brunette beauty was the very thing Haley lived for. Nothing else ever came close to mattering in her heart. The single mom wanted nothing more than to give her child the very best life had to offer. Only now, it was proving to be more difficult than she had originally imagined. Glancing at her tattered watched she frowned knowing she had better get a move on or everything else she had to do would fall further behind.

She could always rest when she was dead right?

"Come on scutchie." She cooed, rubbing her hand over her daughter's red, chubby face. The little girl slowly opened up her eyes, instantly crawling into Haley's arms and resting her head on her shoulder. With her one free hand, she took each basket one by one and moved them from the table to her hip to the stroller in front of it.

Pushing them out into the fresh air and sunlight, she adjusted the child in her arms for a better grip and pushed forward. Their new apartment complex was far from ideal, but it was all she could afford at the moment. Unfortunately for her, they lived on the third floor and the laundry room was on the first. That meant having to carry everything up three flights of stairs and to make matters worse; all the apartment doors were facing outside with all the elements against them.

Upon reaching the steps she grimaced. So far, she hadn't had to do this with her daughter present. It had been a struggle just to drag the stroller and the baskets up one step at a time. Now she had a three year old and no real probability in getting all of them up at the same time in sight. No, she would just have to carry up one basket at a time and pray nobody wanted to steal a basket full of SpongeBob and Dora pajamas.

"Do you need some help?" Haley turned around at the sound of a woman's voice. The blonde clad in a t shirt, jeans, and old school Chuck Taylors, slapped the man beside her on the chest, snapping his attention from the mail to the woman and child in front of him. The blonde pushed her sunglasses on top of her head of curls reached out to extend her hand to Haley. "Hi, I'm Peyton. And this is my husband Jake."

"Haley." She introduced herself and peered past them to the small girl playing in the flowers. "She's yours?"

"Munchkin lets go." Jake hollered, walking over to pick up the child who didn't look much older than the little girl in Haley's arms. "This is Jenny, our daughter."

"Don't you live in 302?" Peyton questioned, taking her anxious daughter out of husband's hands. "We live in 305; right down the hall. We would've introduced ourselves sooner…"

"No, it's okay." Haley assured the two, smiling a bit. "I've been so busy trying to get settled in and well, she's quite the handful. " She nodded to her sleeping child and Peyton grinned in understanding.

"Jake, grab the stroller." Peyton commanded, placing her own daughter firmly on her two tiny feet. Jake clutched one end of the stroller as Peyton took the other with one hand and her daughters hand with the other. "Come on sweets, follow Mommy."

"You really don't have to." Haley protested, latching onto Jenny's other free hand with her own. "I mean I'm sure I could've gotten it up there somehow."

"Dude, don't worry about it. We're happy to help." Peyton assured her as they climbed their way to their floor. "Besides, I know how much of a crapshoot these apartments are. They're no picnic."

"Well thank you." Haley breathed once Jake and Peyton placed the stroller in front of her door. "It probably would've taken me an hour to get that up here by myself."

"That's what we're here for." Peyton slipped her arm around Jake's waist as he hoisted Jenny on his hip. "Don't be afraid to knock if you need anything at all."

"Okay, I keep that in mind." Haley smiled in thanks as they turned to leave. "Hey Peyton?" she called out and the blonde turned around to face Haley. "If you have some free time later on, maybe you could come by for some coffee, or tea?"

"I'd really like that. I'll see you later."

X-x-X

"Bill, crap, more crap, bill, ooh coupons."

Haley let the rest of the mail in her hands drop on the kitchen table before her. With a start she realized that quite sadly, she was getting excited of coupons. Nonetheless, she opened up the Valuepak and sifted through the numerous slips of paper until she had a nice pile worth of coupons she could actually use. The fridge and cabinets were looking a little bit bare. She herself had lost several pounds from living off tuna and crackers. Everything went to provide for her daughter. She had to pinch every penny she could and it was really hard to do in the life she was currently living.

Which; wasn't much.

Looking around her tiny studio apartment, she couldn't help but hate herself. Her daughter didn't have her own room; hell she didn't even have her own room. Once you walked in the door, there was the bed, one that could be folded into the wall, had she had the energy. The rest of the 288 square feet consisted of a built in dresser, a closet, a tiny loveseat, a small island that served at a kitchen table that led into the actual kitchen and a bathroom right off of said kitchen. It wasn't much at all but it was all she could afford and it put a roof, albeit small, over their heads.

Pushing herself out of the chair, she put the kettle of the stove for coffee and busied herself with washing the dishes. Her daughter sat on the kitchen floor beside her, completely immersed in the picture book she had picked up at the thrift store for her. The tiny girl who looked so much like her father reminded Haley so much of herself it was scary. What was even more terrifying that he would see in her what he had saw in Haley and her little girl would be hurt by him because if it.

The knock on the door and the piercing sound of the kettle shook her out of her reverie. "Come in!" she called out of her shoulder and smiled when Peyton stepped in the door, Jenny in tow. She motioned to her abandoned chair. "Have a seat, I'm just finishing up."

Peyton placed Jenny on the floor beside Haley's child, her brow kinking when she realized that she didn't even know that kid's name. She watched as Haley took out two mismatched mugs, placing on in front of her and scooped instant coffee into both of them. She then took to pouring the steaming water in the cups and taking a seat herself. After fixing both the coffees to their liking they sat for a moment in awkward silence.

"What's her name?" Peyton asked, eying the girl playing with her daughter so well. "I didn't even ask earlier."

"Rian." Haley answered, laughing at Peyton somewhat confused reaction. "Her father wanted a boy and I wanted to name her Rain. So we named her Ryan spelt with an _i._ Rian Sophia; I wanted to give her a girl name in case she never grew comfortable with Rian. Sophia was my grandmother's name."

"I always thought I would name my kid a really cool name like, I dunno, Echo or something." Peyton mused taking a sip of her coffee.

"So how did you end up with Jenny?"

"Well it's short for Genevieve and that name came to me in a dream I had when I was, I think eight months pregnant." Peyton explained running her hand over her daughters shock of blonde hair. And her middle name is Anna; after my mother who passed away."

"Is she three too?"

"Just turned." Peyton nodded looking around the apartment she was in. "I didn't realize this place was so small."

"Yeah…" Haley drew out, laughing slightly. "It's a box but it works for now. Ever since my husband left me,"

"I'm sorry to hear that." Peyton interjected, placing her hand on Haley's arm. "That has to suck."

"You know? It really does." Haley agreed. "But it's a lot better. He just put too many things before me and for the most part that was okay. Once he started putting things before Rian, it was too much."

"How long were you married for?" Peyton asked, smacking her hand on her forehead. "Ignore me. I can be really nosey sometimes. You don't have to tell me a thing. I mean, we just met."

"No, it's fine." Haley replied softly, giving Peyton a reassuring grin. "It's kinda nice to just be able to talk to someone that's not involved in it already. We got married when we were eighteen. He was different then; now he's someone I barely recognize. We're kind of locked in a bitter custody battle right now. He wants to take Rian away from me. The sad thing is, he'll probably win."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well the plan was, he would go to school first because he had a basketball scholarship. And then he would graduate and get a good job and then I would go back. Only I got pregnant and pushed going to school back. Everything went to hell last year. So now I'm stuck with only a high school diploma and he's got the nice cushy accounting job that can more than provide for Rian."

She clinked the wedding band she still wore on her coffee mug.

"I do the best I can Peyton. I know it isn't nearly enough but we're happy here." She looked down at her daughter. "She's still adjusting; she doesn't understand why her daddy isn't around to tuck her in every night or why she has to change pre schools. I don't know how to fix that for her."

"You just gotta do the best you can kid."Peyton told her, squeezing her hand for comfort. "That's all any parent can really do."

"I'm sorry to just dump this all on you." Haley apologized, grabbing their two mugs and dumping them in the sink. "In high school I was voted most likely to succeed. Now I, Haley James, is pretty much a failure."

Peyton had never been one for affection. The most she gave was to her daughter and to her husband and father. Friends weren't exactly her forte, once she grew up and got married and settled down. But looking at the small brunette in front of her, she couldn't help herself but get up and wrap her arms around her petite frame. Maybe having a friend around, someone to lean on, wasn't exactly the worse thing in the world.

"I think you and I are going to be really good friends Haley James."

X-x-X

"Hey Buddha."

Haley bent down over the playpen kissing Rian on the forehead. Standing up, she smiled down at the giggling little girl as she swiped the sweat off her brow. The café that currently employed her was about to get hit by the lunch rush and to make matters worse; the air was broken throughout the entire building. On the bright side, her boss, the owner wanted nothing more than to allow Haley's daughter to be there with her while she worked.

"Okay, okay. I'm breaking down and calling someone in to fix the air." Karen Roe promised, taking a seat at the counter in front of Haley. "This heat is ridiculous."

"I told you days ago to get it fixed." Haley pointed out as she popped Karen playfully with the cloth in her hands. "I'm going to go bus some tables before we get swamped."

Haley walked around the counter and started clearing off the messy tables of the empty café. It was only a quarter to noon but she could already see more people bustling around outside and the traffic picking up. It wouldn't be long before she heard a bell and it would be another hour and a half before she would be able to breathe again. As tiring as it was, she was grateful for the job and if she were honest about it, she loved just about every second of it.

"My daughter is sitting in a play pen about to suffocate." Haley's eyes clenched shut as her husband's voice rang through her ears behind her. "Jesus Haley, it's sweltering in here!"

"What are you doing here?" she asked turning around, her voiced lowered as to not cause a scene. "You're not supposed to come around anymore Damien."

Damien West; her high school sweetheart. As much as it pained her to think it, or even admit it, just the sight of him still managed to grasp at her heart. But deep down she knew he wasn't the same hopeful boy she fell in love with years before. A shattered knee shattered his dream of the NBA in college and ever since, he had distanced himself from Haley first, and then their daughter. In the end, she wasn't enough, or maybe she had been too much and it was snuffing the very life out of her. Presently, they were just months from finalizing their divorce and after that, the battle of custody would continue.

"You just need to stop this Haley. Let me take her home with me so I can take care of her." He tried to say it sincerely but she knew him too well. "This isn't good for her."

"I am exactly what's good for her." Haley shouted, slamming the bucket of dishes down on the table. She glanced at Karen who nodded, taking Rian in the back of the café "I am her _mother_! Everything I do is for that little girl; including leaving her father. Sticking her in some daycare while you work twelve hours a day is _not _going to help her!"

"Well, I guess now is a good of a time as any." Damien grumbled, running a hand through his unkempt hair. "Nikki and I; we're getting married after the divorce is finalized."

She might as well been punched in the gut. The very thought of her husband, soon to be ex or not, the very love of her life; the father of her child to move on so quickly just simply hurt too much. Even though he had an affair with the two bit whore that he carried on for months before she had even left, she never once thought it would turn into something serious. Never into marriage. Feeling sick to her stomach, she clutched the table in front of her for support. It was then that realization suddenly dawned on her.

"You listen to me, and you listen to me good Damien Gabriel West." She stepped up to his six foot four stature, pointing a finger in his face. "I really don't care if you consider her the love of your life. If she can replace me in your heart, then fine." She threw her hands up in point. "But I will be damned, if that home wrecking whore will try to take my place as mother to my daughter. Do you understand me Damien? She's _my_ daughter!"

"Get a grip Haley." Damien seethed, latching onto the sides of Haley's arms. "You really think a judge is going to award you custody of a child when you can barely take care of yourself? Look at you; a crummy job with a shack of a house isn't exactly an ideal environment to raise a child in. Not when I can provide her with her own room and all the amenities a child could ever want or need for. Wouldn't hurt to had in a stable family environment would it?"

"You really hate me that much?" she beseeched, pushing his hands off of her. "You really want to take away the only thing in the world that means anything to me?"

She thought she saw a flicker of regret. And then it was gone.

"I'll see you in court."


	3. Clean Break

**A/N: Thank you to each and everyone of you who reviewed. It really means a lot to me. This story is very close to my heart and I hope you enjoy it. Also, I've decided that it will be Brucas and Naley, although not right away. So that should make (most) people happy. So leave me some love and until next time...OH! I am writing a new story that i haven't posted yet but it will be called Matters of Blood and Connection and it will be Naley...kinda. That's all I can really say. So look out for that. Enjoy!**

Clean Breaks

Packing all her stuff was the easy part. It was carrying all the emotional excess baggage that was putting a kink in her spine. As Brooke skimmed her eyes over the room one last time she felt satisfied that she had gotten everything she needed. Closing her suitcase shut, she plopped down on the bed, running her fingers over the luxurious fabric. Purposely she had skipped over anything with any ties to Andy and their life together. Years of memories seemed to vanish before her very eyes as the fear of the future staged a coup d'état and took over.

Strangely enough, she didn't feel too terribly sad about the whole thing. It was more of a disappointment in him for not being the kind of person, the kind of _man_, to stand up in the face of adversity. And if that wasn't enough to make the emo in her show all their dark and depressing colors, well then she had the disappointment in herself to fall back on. Because she was the one who know all along and she was the one who remained despite it.

She caught sight of her reflection in the full length mirror that was positioned in the corner of the bedroom. Taking quiet and deliberate steps towards it, she stripped off the T-shirt that covered her torso. Unclasping the bra from the front, she let it slide off her shoulders to the floor at her feet. In all outward appearances, she was in the best shape of her life. She gave credit to Pilates for her washboard abdomen and her cute butt she had worked years for. The Californian sun had done wonders for her skin and she was sure her eyes never sparkled more. Her breasts; God given and gorgeous just seemed like they were simply there to torture her.

_Haunt_ her.

Until their gone.

"Hey." Rachel called out to Brooke, breaking her out of her trance. Neither woman blushed at the brazen the brunette. "You ready to be taken over?"

Scoffing, her fingers ran the soft curve of her breast before sliding them do to her navel. Playing with her navel ring, she continued to stare at her naked chest. That seemingly simple question was anything but. It was loaded with answers she would never have. Shaking her head, she shimmied out of her jeans and tossed them to the side. Picking up a camera from her dresser she walked to Rachel, placing it in her hands. Wordlessly she walked to the floor to ceiling windows of her high rise penthouse and placed one hand above her head on the glass and looped her thumb of the other hand through her red lace panties.

"I am never going to feel as sexy as I do right now." She explained, nervously licking her lips. "And I just need to know that after I go through all of this, that I can look at these pictures and try my damndest to remember the fierce and confident woman staring back at me."

"Look I know…"

"No you don't know." Brooke snapped, her jaw clenching slightly. "Now will you just be my friend and take the damn pictures."

Rachel bit her tongue, choosing at that moment to be a friend rather than a doctor. Brooke wouldn't want to hear about how with a fantastic plastic surgeon nobody would be able to tell the difference. But she would; every time she undressed or anytime someone touched them she would know that they weren't truly hers. As Rachel finished the last of the pictures, her heart lurched watching the vibrant woman before her struggle to hold the tears prickling the back of her eyes.

Wrapping her arms around her body, Brooke watched as Rachel clicked the camera off and returned it to its spot on the dresser. She picked up Brooke's T-shirt, gently placing it her fingertips. Putting her hands on either side of Brooke's face, Rachel placed their foreheads together before letting go and engulfing Brooke completely in her arms. As Brooke broke down in Rachel's arms, neither felt awkward about the situation, just devastated it was happening at all.

"Okay." Rachel announced, thumbing away the tears that Brooke had shed as Brooke wiped away a few rogue tears of hers. She helped Brooke throw the T-shirt on before continuing. "We're not going to do this. I'm just not going to let you. If I have to completely drive you apeshit to make you yell at me then that's what I'll do."

Despite herself, Brooke laughed. "You're a crazy psychotic whore." She smiled. "But I love you anyways."

"Let's do this B. Davis." Rachel grinned taking Brooke's hand in her own. "You're going to kick ass."

X-x-X

Everything about hospitals wanted to make her retch. From the stale and positively deathly smell, right down to starkness of the white walls, she was sure it was the closest thing to hell on earth. In fact, she had convinced herself that if Death were ever in a physical form it was in the severity of the cancer ward. She tore here eyes from the sweeping skyline of Los Angeles to the bed behind her. The standard issues white hospital gown was strewn across, practically antagonizing her and to her it might as well been her very funeral dress.

Glancing at the clock, she knew it would only be a matter of time before they would be in to prep her for surgery. Turning her attention back out the window, she couldn't help but feel completely overwhelmed. The sunrise was absolutely gorgeous. She couldn't remember the last time she had watched the sun rise; or played in the snow, or hell even danced in the rain. Life seemed to be moving a millions miles a minute before and there never seemed to be enough hours in the day or days in the week. Everything changed now; she was completely on borrowed time.

"You're not even dressed yet?" Rachel implored coming into the hospital room. She wasn't due for another few hours but it wasn't like she had been able to sleep either. "They're going to need to prep you for surgery."

"I can't remember the last time I wore this T-shirt." Brooke giggled, completely ignoring Rachel's comments. "Haley, my best friend from high school, she practically dragged me to the Dashboard concert. I had no interest in it whatsoever. But of course she had to throw up in my face the time when we were fourteen and I made her go to see N'SYNC with me." She rolled her eyes at her immaturity. " I wore this cute little denim skirt and this low cut halter which Haley made fun of me about. Also, I was wearing heels and Haley conveniently left the part out where it was going to be outside in a field for Pete's sake. So we get there and I'm completely out of place. So I slipped off my shoes and bought this T-shirt. It was the most liberating I had ever felt up until that point."

"And with this surgery, you'll have plenty more opportunities Brooke." Rachel's voice cracked slightly and she squared her shoulders, shrugging off the feeling of helplessness. She was about to save this woman's life.

"I can't do this."

"What?" Rachel stopped mid stride from her walk to the bed to turn and look at her friend. It was something she had heard more times than she could ever even imagine counting but it was the tone in her friend's voice that caused her pause.

"I'm not." Brooke reinforced, the determination in her voice speaking volumes. "Not like this. Not yet."

Rachel pulled on the ends of her stethoscope that was hanging from her neck. "Brooke we talked about this. This is going to be the best course of treatment. The cancer hasn't spread past your breasts."

"I know that!" Brooke exploded, furious that Rachel was treating her as if she were dumb or if she were a child that had no conception of what was going on around her. "I'm going home."

"Home?" Rachel sneered, crossing her arms over her chest. "You have no home Brooke. Open your eyes. These are your options. It's the least painful and evasive course of treatment for this."

"Least painful?" Brooke parroted, incredulously. "It's not a big piece of your body, of your _identity_ that's being taken away. Least evasive? Seriously? You're taking a big part of me that defines me as a _woman_. With chemo and radiation, I could lose weight and my hair might fall out. But those things come back. No matter what you do, it'll never make me feel whole again. I can't do that."

"Even with chemo and radiation, the cancer may not go away." Rachel explained, clenching her jaw shut and blowing her breath out of her nose. "It could spread to your lungs, kidney, or liver. You could end up with ovarian cancer Brooke. When that happens there's a whole other list of complications and problems. So instead of risking losing your breasts, you're willing to risk the possibility of losing your ability to have children? Furthermore, the risk of dying?" her voice rose she was sure an octave on the last word of her rant. Brooke's eyes widen slightly as if it was news to her that cancer could end her life. "Yes, you could die."

Brooke looked away from Rachel; her focus sifting back to the rising sun. Idly she played with the drawstrings of her sweatpants as her heart and her brain raged an internal battle over the right thing to do. It was obvious what she _should_ do, but it was scaring the living daylights out of her. No, she couldn't do this just yet. She needed more time, to get used to the idea, to feel beautiful if only for a little while longer. Just a little more time for maybe even someone else to make her feel that way.

"A month." She murmured and Rachel had to strain her ears to understand. Brooke turned around sucking in her breath. "I need a month. It's only been days Rachel and it's not registering yet. I know it's important, I do. But I just need this time."

Rachel wanted to deny her. She really wanted to knock her out and strap her to the bed so that she could have the surgery. Brooke was speaking to her as a friend and a doctor at the same time; appealing and pleading more to her a friend above all. It was risky and everything medical in her screamed that it was the wrong thing. A month, hell even a day could cost Brooke her life. But in the end she knew that Brooke would do whatever the hell she wanted anyway.

"Where are you going to go?"

X-x-X

Dipping her sunglasses with a flick of her wrist from her hair to her nose, Brooke stepped her toes into the sizzling white sand. This was going to be one gorgeous day. Taking a glance down, she smirked in satisfaction at how amazing her breasts looked in the new bikini she had just purchased. Going in a different direction than her usual red, she had opted for a deep turquoise with an intricate pattern that reminded her of some of the sari fabric she had seen from India. Paired with her bronzed skin she had no doubt she would be turning heads.

She didn't want to swim or Jet Ski or ride on a sail boat. She simply wanted to sit and listen to the waves crash down. Walking down the slope to the edge of the water, she plopped down sinking her feet into wet sand as the water rushed in upon her. Laughing out loud at the sudden chill despite the scorching sun, she slid back, falling on her back and placed her hands behind her head. There wasn't a could in sight and it made her determined more than ever that she wasn't going to let this life sucking disease suck the life out of _her_.

Her head turned to her bag, her ringing cell phone jarring her thoughts. "Haley?" she answered breathlessly after searching for it her phone for a small eternity.

"I hadn't heard from you in a few days." Haley answered from the other end, her tired body stirring food in a hot pot. "Is everything okay?"

_No._ She thought instantly.

"Is it okay if I come out there for a short holiday?" Brooke answered instead, knowing at that very instant that Tree Hill, her home, with her best friend was exactly where she needed to be. "I was thinking a few weeks."

"A few weeks?" Haley slightly sputtered, nearly burning herself from the shock. "Can you do that?"

Brooke frowned. "Of course I can do that. Last time I checked I was an adult."

"Oh cookie, that's not what I meant." Haley sighed, pushing her bangs on top of her head. "I just didn't think you would be able to get away for that long. You've never had that much time before."

"Trust me, I still don't." Brooke muttered, standing up and dusting herself off. Pressing the phone between her cheek and collarbone, she wrapped her gold knitted sarong around her waist and picked up her back to walk back to the car. It wasn't that she didn't want to tell Haley, she just wanted to do it in person so that when she completely broke down, Haley's arms would be around her.

"What baby?" Brooke heard Haley questioning in the background, most likely to Rian. "Dinner will be ready in a few minutes okay? Yeah, we can watch Nemo. You wanna talk to Auntie Brooke?"

"Haley-" Brooke tried to protest, knowing that her heart would just break at hearing her goddaughters voice. "Hey booger butt."

"Hiya Auntie Book." Rian giggled on the other end. "I miss you." She drawled out and Brooke heard the truth in her words.

"Aww, Sweets, I miss you too." Brooke cooed stopping once her feet hit the pavement of the sidewalk. "But guess what? I'm going to visit you real soon okay?"

"Otay." The little girl murmured, suddenly catching interest in something else and passing the phone to her mother.. "Wuvubye Auntie Book."

"Love you too baby." Brooke whispered into dead air before Haley clicked back on the line. "She sounds big."

"Huge." Haley confirmed as the ache in her heart returned at the realization that she may not get to watch her get any bigger. "So when you planning on coming?"

"Friday." Brooke decided almost instantly. That gave her three days to get everything packed and settled. She doubted she would be returning to LA to live; if at all. "Okay look, I'm going to let you…oh my GOD! Haley, I gotta call you back. Love you, miss you, bye."

Slamming her cell phone shut and shoving it into her bag she gave the man in front of her a flabbergasted look. Seconds earlier he had whizzed by her, on a skateboard no less, and nearly knocked her down. He stopped skating, kicking the board up and rested his hand on top as she crossed her arms over her chest. Her mouth dropped after a moment when not only did he offer up no apology, he was looking at her like _she_ had done the near attempt on _his_ life.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" she screeched throwing her hands up in fury. "You could've killed me!"

"Relax." He rolled his eyes at her dramatics. "A, you wouldn't have fallen. And B, maybe if you hadn't been yapping away on the cell phone, cooing at your boyfriend then you would've noticed me coming at you."

Her jaw dropped again. "A, this is a side_walk_. People are walking here!" her whole body convulsed in annoyance pointing down at the concrete. "And B, it was my goddaughter! A baby! You could've traumatized her!"

"By what?" he challenged giving her a pointed look. "Your ear piercing screams?"

Stomping up to him, she shoved his chest forcefully. "You are an ass!" he latched onto her wrist and looked down at her incredulously.

Okay, so maybe that wasn't the greatest idea…

"Well what did you expect me to do?" she heaved, jerking her arm away from his grasp and gaining some of her bearing.

"Chase."

"You want me to chase you?!" she beseeched, her brow furrowing in confusion. To her surprise and utter annoyance he snickered.

"My name is Chase." He clarified sticking his hand out to her. She crossed her arms once more and turned her nose at him. "Chase Adams, and I'm sorry."

Well he was kind of cute…

"Davis." She shook his extended hand. "Brooke Davis."


	4. This Temporary Life

**A/N: Sorry for the ridiculously long wait guys. Enjoy.**

This Temporary Life

Haley James sat on a park bench, her glasses perched on her nose, munching on an apple with one hand and reading a book with the other. Occasionally, she would take a bite of the fruit and peer over her book to check and make sure her daughter was still in her line of sight. It was a gorgeous Wednesday afternoon and even though she could have used the extra money, she declined a shift at the café in order to spend some much needed play time with her daughter.

It took everything in her to hold it together knowing that deep down, in her gut, her time was limited. Even though the court date was a few months away, unless something magical happened and she got her act together, she was going to lose her daughter. Even though her husband, Damien, could more than provide for her with all the physical amenities, his physical presence wasn't something he could provide for enough. And she simply didn't trust his new bride to be to be anything kind of decent mother to a child that wasn't hers.

"Hey buddy."

She shut her book, placing it on the bench beside her as she grinned up at her best friend. Lucas Scott had been a life savior in more ways than one for her entire life. The blonde and broody boy had grown up into a wonderful man that Haley felt privileged to know. Lucas took a seat beside her, slinging his arm over her shoulder and playfully nudging her. She noticed his own son scurry to catch up with her daughter, her gaze warming at the two of them playing happily.

"I was beginning to think you forgot about our date." She smirked, smacking his chest lightly. "What happened to you?"

"I had an unexpected visitor." He grumbled, shrugging his shoulders.

Haley frowned. "Taylor?"

He didn't have to confirm it for Haley to already know. Her older sister had always been trouble, so when during her senior year she took interest in Haley's best friend Lucas she had somewhat seemed to calm down. When the two got married shortly after Lucas graduated, it wasn't at all surprising considering how absolutely in love Lucas was with Taylor. Haley was more than happy having her best friend become a brother in law to her. But the honeymoon didn't last long when Taylor ended up pregnant with their son when Lucas was only eighteen.

"Jackson!" Lucas hollered, catching his young son's attention. "Watch out for Rian, alright?"

"How is my nephew doing in school?" Haley asked watching the five year old boy help his three year old cousin onto the playground.

"He's doing great. The teachers love him and all the kids want to be him." Lucas bragged, smiling. He brushed his shoulder mockingly. "Just like his old man."

"What did Taylor want?"

"Money." Lucas scoffed. "What else? But it upset Jackson a great deal to see her."

Lucas's past was almost as complicated as Haley's own. Taylor had been tamed for a while after Jackson had been born but her youth called to her more than motherhood ever could and it wasn't long before she was back to her old partying ways. Lucas had to struggle between raising his young son and school at the same time while trying to keep his disastrous marriage from going down the drain. When finally something had to give, it was his marriage simply because she wasn't the same girl he had fallen in love with.

The divorce had been finalized only a year ago and Jackson still had trouble adjusting to his new world. With Taylor being out of the picture for the most part and his dad being busy in his new role as the high school basketball coach, it was a difficult transition. He adored his mother, but it wasn't a bond Taylor had shared with him. Anytime she came around now, it wasn't to see Jackson or Lucas; it was for money for whatever adventure she was planning or whatever drugs and alcohol she needed at that moment.

"You've got to stop doing this to yourself, Luke." Haley advised, concern etched on her face. "It's not healthy. And Jackson…"

"He needs a mother Hales." Lucas interrupted giving her a pointed look. "He can't have just one parent."

"You know, your mom had you with only herself to rely on she did a pretty amazing job." Haley commented, running her hand over his long locks. "If I do say so myself."

"Thanks." He nodded, sighing. "But she also had Keith from the time I was five."

"And look how that turned out." Haley added. Keith Scott had been a lifesaver for the single mother. The two had fallen in love and had gotten married when Lucas was seven. When Lucas was nine, Keith had adopted him as his own son. "Lucas, you're only 24 years old and Jackson is irresistible. Any woman would be lucky to have the two of you."

"And the two of you." Lucas responded in reference to Haley and Rian. Haley cleared her throat uncomfortably. "What? Am I missing something?"

"It's nothing." Haley dismissed, waving her hand.

"It's not nothing." Lucas caught her hand and gave it a tight squeeze. "What did Damien do?"

"He's one of your best friends Luke. This thing with he and I has already caused enough strain on your friendship as it is. I don't want to add on to it anymore."

"You were my friend first." Lucas explained. "And you're entirely more important than he is to me. Besides, Taylor is your sister and look who you're with now."

"That's because Taylor is wrong!"

"So is Damien."

"He's going to try and take Rian." Haley choked out, quickly swiping at her tears and chuckling bitterly. "The only reason I finally left him was because he didn't even notice her. I took it for a long time when he stopped noticing me," she swallowed back the pain and sniffled. "But she didn't deserve that. Now he just wants to be spiteful and take her away from me."

"Any judge will see that you're the best person to take care of her." Lucas soothed, pulling Haley into his arms. "You'll see."

"A judge will see I'm barely making it on some café earnings living in a tiny studio apartment." Haley dried up her tears, reaching into her bag to grab some of Rian's wipes. "I'm going to lose her Luke. I can't fight Damien and win. You know him. He'll never give up."

"Come on, let's round up the munchkins and head over to the café and grab some dinner."

X-x-X

"Nu-uh Jackson!"

"Uh-huh Rian!"

"_Mom_-my! Tell Jackson Santee Claus is real!" Rian whined, sticking her tongue out at Jamie from across the table. Lucas and Haley exchanged glances, struggling to hold in their laughter. "Uncle Wucas? Tell him!"

"Tone, young lady." Haley scolded gently. "Jackson, why do you think that Santa Claus isn't real?"

"Because." Jackson grumbled throwing his hands across his chest. Lucas quirked up an eyebrow at his son. "I was a good boy and he didn't bring me what I wanted last year."

"Nu-uh!" Rian protested. "You put bugs in my hair Jackson!"

"That's because you're gross!"

"Okay, okay." Lucas placed his hand on Jackson's shoulder as Haley nudged Rian. "Drop your weapons you two. Now what didn't Santa bring you last year that you wanted?"

Jackson looked up at his dad with both anger and sadness written across his tiny features. "Mommy." He finally muttered kicking the leg of table underneath him.

Lucas shot a glance at Haley who cleared her throat. "Who wants ice cream?"

Ten minutes later, the episode didn't seem to have taken place at all as Rian and Jackson sat at the counter indulging in ice cream as Karen entertained the two of them. Lucas and Haley sat on the couch by the window alternating their gazes between their children and the people passing by. After a few moments of watching Lucas brood she pulled the much bigger man into her tiny arms, giving him a tight squeeze.

"That's not your fault Luke." She finally murmured in his ear. "You may not realize it now, especially with Jackson still adjusting, but you did the right thing when you left Taylor and took him with you."

"I finally get why my mom was so absolutely over protective of me my entire life. I mean, I remember when I was Jackson's age, desperately wanting to know who my dad was." Lucas straightened himself up, rubbing the back of his neck in thought. "I used to get so angry at my mom because all the other kids had their dads to pick them up and take them to soccer practice. She would always say that it was what was best for me. Apparently, he was a pretty bad guy."

"Look, I can't tell you what you should do about Jackson and Taylor." Haley started. "But I do know that Taylor is a train wreck with a toxic narcissism that isn't good for anyone around her. And Jackson's such a sweet boy…I'd hate for him to be susceptible to her actions."

"No, you're right." Lucas groaned. "I really thought I could save her and as much as I hate her for all the bad she's put into my life, she also gave me best thing. "

"Yup." Haley smiled. "Oh! I have some good news. Brooke's coming for a visit."

"Brooke Davis?" Lucas questioned, his interest peaked. "Wow, I haven't seen her in years."

"Yeah, she's quite the busy bee. She's actually going to be here for a few weeks. It'll be good to have her around, especially since all this mess is going on in my life." Haley smiled but the agony of her situation was weighed heavily on it.

Lucas patted her leg. "Speaking of, I think I might have somewhat of a solution."

"You're going to kill Damien?" she grinned, winking at him. "What's up?"

"The high school is looking for some substitute teachers. What do you say tutor girl?" Lucas told her has she jumped in his arms, hugging him tightly. "Principal Turner was talking to me about it the other day at practice. It wouldn't take much for you to get certified."

"Lucas, you're a life saver." Haley kissed his cheek, and cupped his face. "What would I do without you?"

X-x-X

Haley was elbow deep in dishes that evening when there was a knock on the door. She took a quick peak into the bathroom, making sure Rian was still playing in her bubble bath before drying on her hands and walking to the door. She wasn't sure who it could be since she wasn't expecting anyone but she wouldn't have been surprised if it was an unwelcome visit the way her week had been going.

"Damien." She sighed, pushing her bangs back from her forehead. "What are you doing here?"

"Can I come in?" he asked softly motioning towards the inside of the tiny apartment. Haley relented opening up the door wider to allow him entrance. "Where's Rian?"

"In the tub." She nodded to the bathroom and Damien glanced towards it and then back to Haley for permission. "Go ahead. She misses you."

"Hiya baby girl." Damien caught Rian's attention, stepping into the bathroom. Haley could hear her daughter squeal in delight and splash in the tub.

"Daddy!"

Haley stood in the doorway as she watched her husband shrug of his jacket and loosen up his tie. Rolling up his sleeves, he knelt beside the tub and began washing their daughter's hair. One of her favorite things to listen to had always been the interaction between her husband and her daughter because of how animated the two of them got. It stabbed her heart knowing that it was something that she hadn't seen in quite some time and something she would probably never see again.

"Towel?" Damien looked around and Haley automatically placed once in his hands. He wrapped it around the toddler, lifting her up in the air and spinning her around as she giggled in delight. Haley slipped out and grabbed her pajama's handing them to Damien and watched as he got her dressed, blowing raspberry kisses on her tummy. "There we go, baby girl; all clean and sparkly."

"Tank you daddy." Rian threw her tiny arms around his neck and kissed his cheek chastely. She grabbed his cheeks and began nodding his head. "Will you read me a story?"

Haley stood outside, leaning on her railing as Damien tucked Rian in and read her a story. She wasn't sure what this impromptu visit meant from him but she was full alert and her guard was up. As much as she still loved him and naively still wanted to be with him, it simply wasn't mean to be and she really didn't have as much faith in him as she once had. But it wasn't about her; it was about the little girl who was the center of Haley's world and making sure her heart stayed intact.

"She's down for the count." Damien told Haley coming outside and shutting the door behind him. "I had forgotten how much fun she could be."

Haley didn't respond verbally, just offering a sad smile.

"Look, you're probably wondering why I'm here." He said taking a step forward and leaning on the railing beside Haley. "The other day, at the café, I was pretty harsh you on."

"You apologizing about being cruel to me isn't going to absolve the fact that you're trying the person I love the most out of my life." Haley bit out, struggling to contain her tears. "I mean you already took the second person out," she glanced up at him. "What more do you want?"

He tiredly ran his hand over his face. "There's no easy way to say this to you Haley so I'm just going to spit it out…Nikki's, she's pregnant."

"What?!" Haley gritted out, taking a step back and looking at him incredulously. She lost the battle with tears she was fighting to hold in. "You really hate me that much?"

"It's not even like that!"

"It's not like that?" Haley parroted her brow furrowing. "A year ago you didn't even want another child! You selfish son of a bitch."

"That was different. We were in a different situation."

"You just didn't want to have," a strangled sob escaped her lips. "…not with me. That was it, wasn't it? You didn't want to have another baby with me." She hit his chest with her closed fist. "You made me…you made me…" she heaved, placing her hands on her thighs, struggling to contain her anger. She couldn't even say the word.

Abortion.

Rian was right in the middle of her terrible twos when Haley had discovered she was pregnant. She had been elated; motherhood was something she thoroughly enjoyed and secretly she hoped it was something that could mend what was breaking in her bond with Damien. But when the young mother had told her husband the happy news, he wasn't as thrilled and after much convincing and with a heavy heart she did something she had terribly regretted ever since.

Realization suddenly dawned on Haley. "Nikki doesn't Rian, does she?"

Damien looked away shamefully. "It's a static situation Hales."

"She is your daughter Damien!" Haley pointed to the closed door that held their sleeping daughter behind it. "You made her! You were there when she was born! You held her when she was sick and when she was tired and when she was crying!"

"I know that!" Damien shouted, taking a moment to catch his bearings. "But Nikki, she's so young…"

"So was I! I was only twenty one and scared out of my mind when she was born! That's not an excuse…"

"I just don't think she can handle having a newborn and a three year old at the same time." Damien explained placing his hands on either of Haley's arms. "I'll help you out okay? I'll make sure that Rian is taken care of and you too. This way, she gets to stay with you Haley. Aren't you happy about that?"

"She adores you." She cried, shrugging off Damien's hands. "Don't you get it? Ever since that perfect little girl entered our lives, she's it; the final word. It doesn't matter what makes me happy or what makes you happy, everything we do has to be in the best interest of her. I took it, and took it in stride when you so coldly cut me out of your life. I refuse to let you inflict that same pain on our daughter by cutting her out of your life too."

"This isn't going to change anything!" Damien claimed. "I want her to be with you Haley. She should be with you. I'll still come see her and have her over and be a part of her life. I promise you."

Haley looked away, shaking her head. "Yeah, you know how to promise a lot of things. You just don't know how to follow through on any of them."

"Hey," he placed his hand on her cheek, pulling her face up to his. "This isn't about me and you. I loved you, I did. A part of me always will." She tried to pull away but he pulled her closer, kissing her softly. "Always kid. But like you said, this is bigger than us. We were put together so well, it would be a shame to tear us apart so carelessly. For her okay?"

"For her."


End file.
